Interview with Deborah King, Author of TRUTH HEALS

Every once and a while, a book comes along that shakes me into asking questions about myself, my experiences, and how I can and must take action based on my new learning and growth. Deborah King's book, Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You, is one such book. I've had the pleasure of interviewing Deborah on how telling the truth heals across contexts. Enjoy.

Q: Kindly tell Generation We readers a little bit about the book.

A: Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You (Hay House 2009), a national bestseller, answers the question: How could the truth change your life? It probes the naked unadulterated truth and its powerful impact on the emotional and physical issues you encounter every day. Truth Heals is a fascinating read, a combination of juicy personal memoir, fun celebrity examples, and solid information that connects the dots between your emotions and your health and happiness.

Q: What are the top 3 reasons millennials (the generation born between 1980-2000) need to read your book?

A: Millennials will inherit a world changed forever by the current economic crisis, global warming, fundamentalism and terrorism—all of which are in their face 24/7 with non-stop media and social networking. Within that framework, they will have to be able to discern what information is true and valuable for them and how to thread their way along an individual path to health and happiness. Truth Heals will:

1) Show them where truth lies inside themselves and how to access it;

2) Connect any physical problem they are having to the appropriate energy behind it so it can be released and healed; and

3) Give them an understanding, through celebrity examples, of why it’s so important to acknowledge and release any emotions hidden inside.

Q: What professional and personal experiences led you to the healing field and most informed your healing theories and practices?

A: Two major personal experiences led me onto the path of healing: one was my experience of being healed from cancer when I was in my mid-twenties, and the other was my husband’s long road to recovery from a brain injury (received when he fell while we were mountain climbing), which conventional medicine couldn’t treat. In both instances, I turned to alternative medicine in the search for wellness, which put me squarely on my path of training in that field.

The first experience that most informed me was learning to meditate. I found that the regular practice of meditation (and I’ve never skipped a day) creates clarity at a level difficult to describe. Once I had that clarity, I was able to evaluate various healing modalities. I began training with an esoteric American group of healers, in, of all places, Reno. Later, I joined that same group at their San Francisco campus where I continued my apprenticeship. After spending over 10 years with them, I moved on to training in and later teaching a healing system that works with the chakra system and the human energy field.

Now, many years later, having worked with thousands of people in live events across the country, I’ve seen the powerful ways in which the truth can heal on many different levels.

Q: How does somebody actually know when s/he has healed?

A: We are all in a life-long process of dealing with painful emotions that threaten us and can become buried in our psyche and body, manifesting as addictions, depression, and the like, and finally physical disease. We may not always be able to heal the physical illness (although it is much more possible than people imagine), but we can take the first step by healing our emotions. When we are able to acknowledge what we are feeling and let it flow through and out of us, instead of denying and holding onto the pain, we have healed the biggest obstacle to our health and happiness. When you feel free, you are on the path to healing.

Q: What role, if any, does telling the truth have on our ability to forgive?

A: Forgiveness is possible only when we have released the emotional pain in our own hearts, which requires being truthful about what we’re feeling. Here are three quick “fill in the blanks” to see what is necessary to be able to forgive:

1) I am afraid to consider forgiving _______because_________;

2) I would like to be forgiven for ____________; and

3) If I could bring myself to forgive ___________, I would say_____________.

Q: What are the 3 most significant ways that people fail to tell the truth in the workplace? What's the impact?

A: It all comes down to the same thing: no one wants to be rejected or not loved and appreciated. . . or fired. In the workplace, this means that people may try to 1) make themselves appear to know more than they really do—they fake it, 2) manipulate bosses, co-workers, or clients in order to look better or to get ahead, or 3) cover up their mistakes by blaming others. All of this makes it harder to get the job done, and slow down the work process. It’s far better to go beyond the fear and say, I don’t know how to do this part, can you show/teach me how?

Q: One of the chief areas in which young people struggle to tell the truth is in disclosing incest. You state that 80% deny it. (1/3 girls and 1/5 boys are the reported incidences). As a fellow sexual abuse survivor who knows that telling the truth healed me, what recommendations do you offer survivors and families for shifting this trend when so often perpetrator and victim are in the same family?

A: First, let’s talk about the situation where the abuse happened, has now ceased and you are no longer living under the same roof as the perpetrator. The first thing to do in order to heal from the trauma is to acknowledge the truth by telling someone what happened. Choose someone you trust to talk to who is qualified —a school counselor, a nurse, a teacher. It’s crucial to know that you can put this experience behind you, just like I did. I don’t recommend that you confront family unless and until you feel totally ready. In my own case, more than 20 years passed before I felt ready, and it was still quite a challenge. Many of the people I work with choose never to confront; it’s very much an individual decision. In addition to talking about the experience, I recommend therapy (again, with someone who is qualified). Sometimes, writing about the experience, or expressing your feelings artistically, is a great way to achieve healing. (That’s one reason why I wrote about my experiences of incest in Truth Heals). There are also some really good books out there; you can check out the resource section on my website, http://www.deborahkingcenter.com/resources, for a list of suggested reading material.

If you are still living with your family and/or still subject to abuse, you’ll not only want to immediately tell someone outside your family (again, a school nurse, counselor or teacher would be good choices), but you’ll want them to talk to someone in authority (not the perpetrator) in your family. It’s key that you be protected from the risk of further abuse; don’t worry about the repercussions from disclosure in this instance. My experience working with both victims and perpetrators in the same family is that once the cat is out of the bag, things begin to sort themselves out. Many times, we’ve all been surprised by the willingness of a perpetrator to seek treatment. So often, the perpetrator has a similar story of their own to tell of the abuse they received at the hands of one of their family members when they were young. Child sexual abuse will continue to be repeated from one generation to the next unless and until we speak out; it’s the truth that breaks the pattern and frees the generations that follow.