Attention, Uncle Sam, I Deserve a Bailout Too!

Like many in America, I have been glued to the news since September of this year, equal parts confused and intrigued by the corporate bailout process. Last night, as I listened to institutions ranging from the CEO’s of the big three automakers to a suburban Cleveland, Ohio school district requesting government monies, I realized I should be able to get in on the action. I’m a millennial. Isn’t a sense of entitlement my birthright?

Oh, I kid. I kid. While my generation has been branded entrepreneurial, innovative, and tech savvy by some, others have indeed labeled us disrespectful, whiny, and outright lazy. Call us what you want, but according to Eric H. Greenberg and Karl Weber, the authors of the new book, Generation We, millennials or Gen-We’s are also the first generation to inherit a nation in economic decline. And yet, many of us have a history of paying OUR bills on time.

Since I received my first university-sponsored MasterCard at nineteen, I’ve paid each of my credit cards off fully each month. Ditto for my cell phone and utility bills. And as for my egregious student loans, my gift for pursuing a master’s at a private university? Well, not only do I pay the required monthly payment, but I also have been saving a little extra to double up on my payments to try to get 100% debt free before starting a family. The real kicker is that the recipient of these payments, Citibank, is in the throes of a bailout rescue.

But surely my economic responsibility has paid off in other ways. I have a nearly perfect FICA score. I am one of the few people in this nation who could get credit. Unfortunately, this means absolutely nothing to me since the only way I could buy a car or condo living in the NYC tri-state area would be to STOP paying my monthly expenses on time. And then all of this responsibility would be for nothing.

To be clear, conceding to the American trend of spending beyond one’s means has absolutely no allure for me.

And enough of my criticizing. I’m a solutions-oriented gal.

Therefore, I’m proposing a bailout. Scratch that, an economic stimulus (much more positive rhetoric), to any millennial with perfect credit. We are as low-risk as any U.S. group and will be the largest generation by 2012. Uncle Sam, do you really want us to be supporting our financially struggling boomer parents in retirement, starting families, and leading organizations without being able to afford so much as a slice of the American dream?

Don’t answer that. Just remit payment to the aforementioned group, starting with me, Alexia Vernon. You have access to all of my records, so I trust you know where to find me. I promise, I will do my generation and my country proud!